Guys are Confusing and They Suck

Sometimes I have to wonder to myself why we need them. Even though they are confusing and they do suck most of the time, I have to accept the fact that there are times we do need them. I guess I’m just feeling a little weird because this one guy has been giving me some mixed ass signals and I don’t really know what to think of them. Yes, I am literally leaving this weekend to go home for the next year or so and I don’t really want to be in a relationship, but it doesn’t hurt to still talk if he’s not interested in me right? Like I don’t know why that’s such a big deal. Also, he could be straightforward about it like don’t leave me hanging. I just wanted to meet up with him one more time because in all honesty, women have needs too (LOL…) Sorry, but this is true and I’m not going to shy away and say that it’s not. Like this is the truth and if you can’t handle it, well, then you need to just get out of the kitchen haha. Anyway, I honestly thought that was what he was looking for because I mean I went over to his place for the first time (this is a guy I met on Tinder, so in all honesty, this is really unfair, but I can’t expect too much… lol). Like after that though, it wasn’t that things went downhill, just it was weird. He texted me a lot before to try to meet me and whatnot and he actually seemed really sweet or decent enough otherwise I REALLY wouldn’t have continued to talk with him because I’m the type of person who literally stops talking to him the moment i find out they’re boring (to me) or they just don’t click with me. I actually found him interesting so it was a first for me or is a first for me. Like I’m still snapchat messaging him, but that’s it, not texting anymore. Every now and then, yes, but I’d rather be rejected on snap message than be rejected on text to be honest haha. Anyway, he still showed interest on snap and even a few days ago, I didn’t snap him, but he kept snapping me during the weekend and I was like what the fuck is going on?? Like I snap messaged him something last night and he responded with this weird ass screenshot of a text between his friend and him and I was like what the fuck?? Did you send it to the wrong person or something? He didn’t respond, but checked it. Then I sent him something about coffee because I wanted to just meet up for one last time and see what was up, but he didn’t respond so I’m just SOO CONFUSED. YES I KNOW IM LEAVING SOON AND I SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT, BUT I CAN’T HELP IT LIKE IT’S ANNOYING, I JUST NEED TO KNOW. LOL. Like after meeting him in person the first time, no more texting like I said, but he added me on snapchat like every other person or guy that I’ve talked to. I really have to keep from rolling my eyes in person for this because it just always happens.

Also, I know I’m young and that there will be a guy out there for me one day, but it’s just I want to figure it out, like what’s going on because this is the first guy I’ve actually been somewhat attracted to and he isn’t even SUPER attractive (I know my standards are high lol). And he seemed to be attracted back to me so I don’t know what’s up like I remember way back when, he told me that he believes in the fact that hookups can result in a relationship. I was like ok then, so I don’t even know if you want a relationship, but I know you want the hookup part and you said that you can either make the next 3 months the best or the worst right? Well, it’s been weird and not the worst 3 months, just it’s been weird and odd lol. I don’t get you. You’re such an odd person… lol.. Seriously though I just wanted to see you and your dog (not going to lie), one last time before I left and if you wanted to keep talking to me as a friend then be my guest. You’re an adult, I’m an adult. Nothing is forever unless you make it forever. Anyway, he sucks and he can go away because I’m so over it right now lol. I don’t know how to get you to respond to shit even though you sent me snaps a few days ago first so *shrug* I’m just hungry for food right now so sorry for the rant that makes no sense, but see you all later my readers.



After 4 Years…

***I wrote this for my senior will for my sorority, so if there are references to strong women, it’s because I was addressing them; however, these words can apply to anyone.***

In my 4 years at UC San Diego, I have learned and experienced much. I have learned that you should never settle for less when you can have the best. Never allow anyone to say you can’t do anything because you can as long as you put your mind to it. Also, you have to learn to love yourself, love everything about yourself. No one person is ever the same, everyone is unique in their own way. Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself to others, you are your own beautiful person with both strengths and weaknesses that are unique to your individual self. You are all independent, strong women who can rise above others who may degrade you. Cherish every single moment and every single day. This might sound cheesy, but smile and enjoy every single day that comes and don’t allow anyone to ruin your day because they are insignificant in the end. Why allow yourself to ponder and simmer over someone or something so trivial when you could enjoy life. Don’t allow your fears to control you and keep you from living your life the way you want to. You can overcome them with love and support. Your life is your life and don’t let anyone else say or do otherwise. Also, don’t judge a book by its cover, really don’t because you never know, they may surprise you.

Bad Boys, We Definitely Go for Them

You know what though ladies, never ever subject yourself to a controlling, manipulative, asshole who knows how to sweet talk you into staying with him. Never settle because you THINK you love him. You should KNOW you love him, not think. You should NEVER have to defend your love for him to anyone, especially your friends any family. If your friends think that he’s a bad guy and it’s pretty much everyone who doesn’t like him or who hates him, girl, that is freaking telling you something there. It isn’t just one damn person, it’s EVERY single person whose telling you this and you don’t see it for yourself yet? I’m over telling you how much of a jerk he is and how much he doesn’t respect you at all. You can see it for yourself when shit happens. I have just seen so many things I shouldn’t see come out of this relationship that it makes me mad even seeing this guy. My friend should not be in this relationship.  I know she’s an adult and she can learn from her own mistakes and make her own decisions, but it just makes me irritated and frustrated because they broke up for what 2 days before she somehow got back with him and she doesn’t even really tell me straight up like what the fuck. I’m not only your friend, but your roommate, like I honestly deserve that much considering y’all stole my fucking room and cheated me from how much I should have been ACTUALLY paying. = I should have mentioned it before and it’s as much my fault as anyone else’s, but if you TRULY respected me as a friend AND respected our friendship, you would’ve asked before doing anything you’ve done this year. I honestly thought a lot more highly of you. I sound like a self-centered bitch, but honestly I feel like I’m fair and decent to a fair amount of people who are my so-called “friends,” and I’m pretty much treated like ABSOLUTE SHIT. Like no one is considerate of anything that has to do with me while I TRY my absolute fucking best to be considerate of almost everyone. Obviously I can’t be perfect like who the fuck is in this world? BUT I try my best to be considerate and treat others how they want to be treated. That’s why I’m just sick and tired of everyone and I just want to be left alone or at least be with people who actually even give a fucking shit. I’m only ranting right now because I ABSOLUTELY hate my roommate’s boyfriend. I’ve honestly never hated anyone more than him. He’s a complete fucking asshole and she deserves better, but like I said she can figure it out. I thought she did, but she didn’t and now I have to fucking live through this again. I can’t stand anything about him. I have to tolerate him, but it’s just been hard because everyone’s been so.. inconsiderate of everything and I’m just tired of everything. My roommate should not have him over here showering when he definitely has his own place. Not only that, but even if they have to wake up early tomorrow, it makes no sense for you to sleep here (the both of you). Even though you asked me this time because you know how much it bugs me, he has a PERFECTLY GOOD SINGLE NOTE SINGLEEEE that y’all can sleep in. It makes no freaking sense to me at all why you would sleep here. Yeah closer to the freeway maybe but who cares?!?! That’s just being inconsiderate of me again in the end. Yes I said I didn’t care but when its 12 AM in the damn morning, I don’t have the energy to be the bitch that said no because I don’t like your boyfriend. Gosh I am going to try to tolerate him since I only have another month, but he honestly ruined my friendship with her. Sometimes I don’t even like her or I think she’s absolutely annoying or irritating because of the things she does with him. Usually I’m not as annoyed with her and I never used to be, but nowadays I just feel she spends all of her time with him and doesn’t really spend time with her girlfriends. Guess she goes for bro over hos yeah? Well I wouldn’t ditch my friends for a freaking douchebag especially when he’s ruined all of your other friendships as well. Honestly, I don’t know how this bodes for our future as friends. It’s sad because I’ve known her for 4 years since college started, since day 1 and this is how it’s ending up because of some stupid boyfriend. *SIGH*. Anyway, that’s really all I have for now. Sorry for this insignificant stupid rant, but I haven’t been going out much lately anyway, so I’ve become boring as heck lol.

Till next time!!!

Stop Being a Douchebag and Be a Man

You know what, you’re starting to really annoy me. It would show I care, and I won’t lie, in a way if I have any emotion about it at all, I do, but it’s more so because I just hate people like you. I don’t care about YOU though.

So the premise of this whole post… Let’s get straight into this story. Sorry, this will be more of a rant if anything, but I’ve been so bothered for the past 2-3 weeks that I can’t not share my feelings with y’all, so please bear with me with this post.

About two weeks ago or three, I don’t remember exactly when, but I was on Tinder (yes I have a Tinder, does it really matter nowadays? lol) and I got matched with this one guy. I was like ok, let’s see his profile again because I didn’t really look into it. It said that he went to my school albeit being older and that he was looking for a corgi mom or something for his cute as freak corgi. I was like ok I really like the dog already, I don’t know about you though lol. He messaged me first and the closer I looked at his pictures the more I realized that omg, I swear I thought this guy was attractive 2 years ago in one of my classes like whoa, I thought I’d never see him again so this is sort of weird… Anyway, he messaged me something along the lines of us knowing the same 4 people and 3 of them being in different friends groups (I know weird start to the conversation, but hey whatever floats his boat you know?) We started to talk because we both TA for business classes at school so we talked about that and just random stuff, small talk you know? I mean what else is there really to talk about. Next day, I gave him my number because I really hate having to check the app all the time to see if he even messaged me back and it’s quicker for me since I’m practically glued to my phone. We sort of talked and he was interesting… I couldn’t tell if he was a bore or if he was intriguing to me or not so I went with intriguing because if I couldn’t figure him out that meant that there was possibly something that semi attracted me to him, so I tried to keep up a conversation with this lame brain (honestly he sort of was though). Also, not going to lie, I had another reason for talking to him (I’m such a user, sorry everyone lol, I’ll admit that); I really wanted to meet his dog because it’s SUCH a cute corgi. So yeah… We didn’t really talk at times, but one night he texted me saying there was a girl he got matched with on Bumble or something (yes i have it too, I mean times of modern dating right?). So I was like oh really who? He said some Asian girl. I was like wow, that’s so very descriptive. Is she cute? He was like idk, I haven’t met her yet. In my mind, I was like omg… This guy REALLY doesn’t know how to flirt, like I just cannot deal with this right now lol. So he went with the lame way of oh I like your dress in your picture and I said it’s a Vietnamese dress and he offered some tidbit of his ex-girlfriend that I REALLY didn’t need to know since I hadn’t even met him yet and it had only been like 3 days ish since speaking to him and he was boring me to death. I was like what the heck.. like ok.. lol.. So eventually I did meet his dog and take his dog out on a walk with my friend. SUPER cute. We did that for like 2 weeks until finals week hit. Then this is when shit hit the fan.

I think sometime during that week, I asked him to go to a movie because I know he wanted to watch it, but I didn’t mean it in a date way ( I could definitely see why he thought that and I should’ve clarified as I typed that message), but I definitely didn’t mean it in that way. Like I honestly felt bad that i just wanted to see his corgi all the time and not really get to know him as a person, as a friend you know? Well, asshole didn’t respond at all. I don’t give a shit if you say no dude, like I’d rather have the truth than no respond asshole. Also, don’t assume you know what I fucking want, like you don’t fucking know me, so don’t assume shit you don’t know. Get to know me and not be a douchebag! So that happened and sometime that week my friend said you should talk to her because she definitely doesn’t want a relationship and whatnot and he did and I didn’t like it because it felt like he was forced to talk to me even though my friend said he wasn’t. i was like whatever, I’m really annoyed (it was finals week and I was PMSING my ass off, so it was just not a good combination). He did stupid small talk that honestly pissed me off even more because it’s like you should ask and actually talk to me as a fucking person instead of treating me like dirt. He pretty much made a fool of me and mugged me off so I think that’s what got me the most; I was pretty embarrassed the whole week and was mad and PMSING and emotional, so just it was a shit week and I was just overwhelmed.

So sometime that week too, I finished finals already and i wanted to see his dog, and my friend and I both texted him, and no response. So the reason why he didn’t want to keep talking to me or get my “hopes” up was because he had unresolved shit with his ex or some crap like that.  Now this is another issue with me (sorry, I’m just a nitpicky af person). Anyway, like don’t go on Tinder or ANYTHING if you still have unresolved shit with someone. Fix that crap first and then if you can’t then you can do whatever you want to get over the person, but the moment you start talking to me or showing interest in me AND you still have unresolved shit and start pushing me away because of it, just don’t please. I would rather not be involved in ANY way shape or form with your shit. Like please, as picky and shallow and complicated as I may seem, I really do like the simpler way of things, like drama and unresolved issues, I just don’t want any form of involvement like even knowing if you have unresolved drama or issues just makes me go ugh, please no. Also, like I said you don’t know what i want like dude, I don’t want a relationship, I really don’t, so don’t assume please.

So apparently he was supposed to talk to her and possibly get back to her, and I’m not sure what happened with that. We assumed that he got back with her and he maybe just got weird and awkward with my friend and I and just don’t want us to see the dog or just don’t want to see us. For me though it’s like dude, we’re not doing anything wrong like if your girlfriend has a problem (if he got back with her), I get it, but if you can’t act like a fucking normal human being and let us see the dog like what the fuck, grow up please (I’ sorry for all the cursing today in this post, but I’m just obviously annoyed lol). Like dude you’re 28 years old for crying out loud, like you’ve been in the army or military before, like I know you’ve gone through a lot of things people haven’t, but come on, you can definitely act normal around us. He uses the excuse that he’s an extreme introvert, but now I don’t believe that bullshit because I honestly think he’s just a fucking straight up douchebag/asshole. I really tried to put it off as being an introvert, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be an asshole; like I tried to be fair and not make assumptions or put a label or judge, but you’re making it difficult buddy.

So since that week I haven’t tried to contact him or anything because whatever lol. Not seeing the dog though makes me really sad. He really made my day, like darn now I need to get me a dog lol. Anyway, so funny story, my housemate made a Tinder again for like literally a few hours because she was bored (this happened yesterday) and apparently he super liked her and like he started messaging her and I was like omfg, hahaha. I wasn’t mad or annoyed, I just thought it was freaking hilarious and stupid honestly. Like you can message my housemate on Tinder, but you can’t even respond a yes or no to my friend and I to WALK your dog, like not SEE YOU or flirt with you or whatever you think but to see and walk your dog. Like jerk. That’s all I can say obviously lol. So today I was like you know what? Forget this, I really just want to see his dog, like what do I have to lose texting him. SO I was really nice texting him like hey I hope you had a good break and you passed your class or whatever. Are you free for me to see your dog tomorrow. Yeah, no response. The asshole. Like honestly I know i should drop it, but being prideful and stubborn, I feel like I can’t and it’s just going to bug me so I’m pretty close to just texting him something rude and calling him out for his shit because he’s a grown person, like he can’t be an adult about this? Like dude, don’t flatter yourself and assume we all want you because we don’t. You might dress decently and look pretty handsome, BUT your personality could use some work on honestly and I have tried to get to know you and not think you’re a jerk, but you’re making it harder for me to not think that, so your loss. Like I literally just like your dog, not you. Also, I can go out and find guys lol honestly.  Anyway… That’s pretty much it. Sorry for this long rant lol. it’s just been bugging me the whole time and idk what to do about it yet, but knowing me, I might actually say something because I feel like the more I leave it alone and forget, the more it’s going to eventually bug me,  so we’ll see what happens.

So that’s all for now, just a rant. I haven’t posted any updates about my adventures because I went to Vegas recently and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ;).

See y’all next time though! Thanks for reading beautiful people.


Tipsy McFadden’s

March 11, 2017

Finally, a REALLY REALLY recent weekend lol. At least I’ve finally sort of caught up huh?

This was last weekend and my big from one of my other organizations that I used to be in was visiting this weekend and he asked me prior to that night if I wanted to hang out with him and some other friends that I knew plus other people and I was like of course!! I would love to hang out with y’all and spend some time catching up.

The time came for him to pick me up and we went to our friend’s house to pregame. He was picking up his friends from Northern California who were visiting and going out with us that night so we just waited for a bit until they got back. We started a little ahead of everyone else who was coming that night and then we all took shots together as everyone arrived.

We went to downtown SD and at first they had planned on going to Crazy Goose, but they wanted to go to Analog since there was no line so we went to Analog and my friend’s friend from NorCal got us drinks while everyone else had to go to the bathroom and by everyone, I mean literally everyone else from our group. We started to dance first and I really liked her, she was super sweet for getting me a drink when she didn’t have to and we just started dancing together (I love people who know how to dance and get down and just get loose, if y’all didn’t realize that already haha). So we danced and everyone else came back and got drinks. We just all danced together and I saw some pretty good looking guys that night so I was like hmm, maybe I might ask them to dance if they don’t approach me first. Someone ordered tequila shots at one point and we all took them (Crazy). After that, this one guy who I thought was attractive was still looking over at me or us whatever, so I just called to him to come over and asked him to dance. I honestly didn’t even know what he was saying because he was from another country or something and his accent was so hard to understand.

The funniest part was probably everyone else’s reaction because they don’t really see me dance with guys normally, so they  were like :O… Haha I only danced with him for about 2 minutes because they wanted to leave to go to somewhere else, so we went to honestly, I’m not sure if it was Tipsy Crow or McFadden’s after, but I mean we went to both eventually so I’ll just talk about both.

When we went to Tipsy Crow, we just danced for a bit and we didn’t do much except dance on the main floor. At McFadden’s, I was super stoked to try a new bar because I had never been there so it was really interesting. They had deals for shots, so we took shots right when we got into the bar on the first floor. After that, we went upstairs to see what was going on. At one point some girls started to go up on top of the bar and my friend’s friend who was visiting wanted to go up so I was like why the heck not? LOL We went up on the bar and they gave every girl a dixie cup of beer, but the guys wouldn’t let us drink it (I didn’t want to drink it anyway), so they motioned to us to give them the cups and they drank it all for us (super sweet). So she and I danced on top of the bar with the other girls and we had such a blast doing it too. Everyone else danced on the floor and then after a while we went down. At one point, I don’t know WHOSE idea it was to order MORE shots, but someone ordered A LOT of Jaeger shots and i was like oh gosh, this is bad lol. We took them though because that would be a waste of whoever’s money ordered them. After that, we left and we wanted to go back to Analog so we did.

When we got there, some guy started dancing near us and then started dancing with me and everyone was like oh gosh again Tiffany? haha, I danced with him until the end and he asked for my number and I was like eh, sure why not (not like I normally give out my number anyway) So I gave it to him and we left to go get ubers. The issue was someone disappeared and we had no clue where we went and we tried to look and wait for him and eventually we figured out what happened to him. Let’s just say it wasn’t great at all… I won’t go into detail because it’s serious, but he wasn’t with us at the end of the night. He’s ok, just the whole situation was weird.

So that’s it for this night. It was a pretty fun night overall though, don’t get me wrong. Till next time beautiful people!