Guys are Confusing and They Suck

Sometimes I have to wonder to myself why we need them. Even though they are confusing and they do suck most of the time, I have to accept the fact that there are times we do need them. I guess I’m just feeling a little weird because this one guy has been giving me some mixed ass signals and I don’t really know what to think of them. Yes, I am literally leaving this weekend to go home for the next year or so and I don’t really want to be in a relationship, but it doesn’t hurt to still talk if he’s not interested in me right? Like I don’t know why that’s such a big deal. Also, he could be straightforward about it like don’t leave me hanging. I just wanted to meet up with him one more time because in all honesty, women have needs too (LOL…) Sorry, but this is true and I’m not going to shy away and say that it’s not. Like this is the truth and if you can’t handle it, well, then you need to just get out of the kitchen haha. Anyway, I honestly thought that was what he was looking for because I mean I went over to his place for the first time (this is a guy I met on Tinder, so in all honesty, this is really unfair, but I can’t expect too much… lol). Like after that though, it wasn’t that things went downhill, just it was weird. He texted me a lot before to try to meet me and whatnot and he actually seemed really sweet or decent enough otherwise I REALLY wouldn’t have continued to talk with him because I’m the type of person who literally stops talking to him the moment i find out they’re boring (to me) or they just don’t click with me. I actually found him interesting so it was a first for me or is a first for me. Like I’m still snapchat messaging him, but that’s it, not texting anymore. Every now and then, yes, but I’d rather be rejected on snap message than be rejected on text to be honest haha. Anyway, he still showed interest on snap and even a few days ago, I didn’t snap him, but he kept snapping me during the weekend and I was like what the fuck is going on?? Like I snap messaged him something last night and he responded with this weird ass screenshot of a text between his friend and him and I was like what the fuck?? Did you send it to the wrong person or something? He didn’t respond, but checked it. Then I sent him something about coffee because I wanted to just meet up for one last time and see what was up, but he didn’t respond so I’m just SOO CONFUSED. YES I KNOW IM LEAVING SOON AND I SHOULD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT, BUT I CAN’T HELP IT LIKE IT’S ANNOYING, I JUST NEED TO KNOW. LOL. Like after meeting him in person the first time, no more texting like I said, but he added me on snapchat like every other person or guy that I’ve talked to. I really have to keep from rolling my eyes in person for this because it just always happens.

Also, I know I’m young and that there will be a guy out there for me one day, but it’s just I want to figure it out, like what’s going on because this is the first guy I’ve actually been somewhat attracted to and he isn’t even SUPER attractive (I know my standards are high lol). And he seemed to be attracted back to me so I don’t know what’s up like I remember way back when, he told me that he believes in the fact that hookups can result in a relationship. I was like ok then, so I don’t even know if you want a relationship, but I know you want the hookup part and you said that you can either make the next 3 months the best or the worst right? Well, it’s been weird and not the worst 3 months, just it’s been weird and odd lol. I don’t get you. You’re such an odd person… lol.. Seriously though I just wanted to see you and your dog (not going to lie), one last time before I left and if you wanted to keep talking to me as a friend then be my guest. You’re an adult, I’m an adult. Nothing is forever unless you make it forever. Anyway, he sucks and he can go away because I’m so over it right now lol. I don’t know how to get you to respond to shit even though you sent me snaps a few days ago first so *shrug* I’m just hungry for food right now so sorry for the rant that makes no sense, but see you all later my readers.

Love,

Tiff

After 4 Years…

***I wrote this for my senior will for my sorority, so if there are references to strong women, it’s because I was addressing them; however, these words can apply to anyone.***

In my 4 years at UC San Diego, I have learned and experienced much. I have learned that you should never settle for less when you can have the best. Never allow anyone to say you can’t do anything because you can as long as you put your mind to it. Also, you have to learn to love yourself, love everything about yourself. No one person is ever the same, everyone is unique in their own way. Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself to others, you are your own beautiful person with both strengths and weaknesses that are unique to your individual self. You are all independent, strong women who can rise above others who may degrade you. Cherish every single moment and every single day. This might sound cheesy, but smile and enjoy every single day that comes and don’t allow anyone to ruin your day because they are insignificant in the end. Why allow yourself to ponder and simmer over someone or something so trivial when you could enjoy life. Don’t allow your fears to control you and keep you from living your life the way you want to. You can overcome them with love and support. Your life is your life and don’t let anyone else say or do otherwise. Also, don’t judge a book by its cover, really don’t because you never know, they may surprise you.